The daily grind……….accented by the vanilla syrup in a latte, kissed by a bit of sunshine, or stroked by wind whipped hair on a run. That has been my life lately. Hopeful for the future, that ever looming unknown that beams with possibility, but struggling to remain on the hamster wheel that is the here and now. Wondering why it has to be such a vicious, repetitious cycle and longing to break free and simply be myself, to embrace the beauty in the little things, and love people to the fullest. I find myself needing to create crazy meals for dinner, to walk aimlessly around campus, and to see how long I can wait before needing to attend my college commitments, just to “live on the edge” in my own little way. I know……I’m so rebellious.
I feel stuck sometimes, trapped even. Wondering how I can live to my fullest potential, beyond books, the library, cramming information into my head, you know….the academics. Frankly, I’m done with school. I’m certainly not done with learning, but the whole class, eat, homework, sleep, repeat cycle is boring the heck out of me. There has to be more than this; there IS more than this; I just need to make time to embrace the more.
I realized something at Bible study the other night that really struck me. You live to the standard that you set for yourself. If your standard is based on negative thoughts or who you are NOT, than the pattern of your life will reflect this. If you set a standard of who you know you can be, who you want to be, and the positive aspects of who you are, your life will reflect this as well. Set your standard high, and live above it, whatever that means to you.
For me, this means doing what I have to on the hamster wheel, but not being devoted to that alone. Making time for people, doing little things to show I care, and going above and beyond in what matters most in my life. These are the accents, the wanderings I need to keep me sane. I may still make weird meals, wander, and be close to exactly on time as possible, but my standard goes far beyond that. My standard needs to be set by the Father, and I need to live to the standard He sets. I am escaping…..escaping the mediocrity.